Rula a-Z’anin

A 42-year-old married mother of five children, ranging in age from 6 to 24, from Beit Hanoun

My husband Hani (44) and I lived on the main street of the town of Beit Hanoun with our children, Dima (24), Nagham (22), Karam (17), Hiba (12) and Taymaa (6).   

On 13 May 2023, the Israeli military bombed the home of Zuheir a-Z’anin, an Islamic Jihad operative, and some houses next to his were destroyed. Our home, which was less than ten meters away from the west side of a-Z’anin’s home, was severely damaged.   

When the bombing started, we were sleeping at home, and we were woken up by the neighbors’ screams. My husband and I went outside with the kids. I was in my prayer clothes. All of the neighbors from the nearby houses ran to the streets with clothes in their hands. It was very scary. We ran in the streets and got about 500 meters away from our home. After about 20 minutes, I heard a strong explosion. I was sure our home had been destroyed, and I started to cry. I felt that my whole life had been destroyed. My brothers came and took us to their homes.   

After about two hours, we went back to see what had happened to our home. When I saw it, I broke down and fell to the ground. It took a few minutes until I was able to get up. I went inside and saw all of the destruction. I never imagined something like this could happen to us. The house is no longer inhabitable, and all of our possessions were destroyed. I found my 24-year-old daughter Dima’s wedding dress completely torn and other clothes, makeup, and perfume she had prepared ahead of her wedding that were destroyed. We lost everything, and our lives have become so much harder.   

We are now renting a house on a-Zaytun Street in Beit Hanoun and pay 500 NIS [~135 USD] per month. Losing our home really hurt our children, especially Karam (17), who was in his exam period. He was always a good student, but because of all the stress, he couldn’t concentrate, and his grades suffered, and he finished with a 64 average. This is the most important year in school, and it will determine his future and the possibility of academic studies.   

Since we were uprooted from our home, we have had no stability in our lives, and we are constantly stressed and anxious. I’m in a difficult emotional state, and I’m having trouble getting out of it. We are now living far away from our family and neighbors. I feel that life here has no meaning. There in that house, I had my children, and all of our memories are there. The room my husband and I share, the children’s rooms, that feeling of homeyness, that calm you feel whenever you get back home.   

We’re always thinking about our home, and we go visit it. We sit there to have tea or coffee. I see my friends and neighbors there and feel the breeze through the window. That’s how I feel the “soul” of the house. I sit there and try to imagine the house like it used to be. Every time, it is hard for me to leave and go back to the apartment. I feel like my soul was uprooted from its place the day of the bombing, and I can’t get over it.  

My husband and I built that house 24 years ago, when we got married. We put everything we had into it. Over the years, we renovated it and put a lot more money into it to ensure our children would have good and stable lives. But in one terrible moment, the home where we’d lived our lives – all of the moments, the good and the bad – was lost.   

We have been in the rented apartment for over two months now we still can’t get acclimatized. Everything feels very temporary. We don’t know how long we’ll stay here or when we’ll be able to rebuild our home and return to it. Our future is unknown, but we can’t live our whole lives in a rental, and I hope to return as quickly as possible. 

* Testimony given to B'Tselem Field Researcher Muhammad Sabah on 23 July 2023

Read more testimonies of residents of the Gaza Strip whose homes were damaged in Israeli strikes in August 2022 or May 2023:

Rahmah a-Z’anin	Muhammad Sarsur	Yusef Filfel	Ahmad a-Dirawi	Muhammad Abu Harbid